I am obsessed.......

I’m obsessed……


I am obsessed with having so many questions about why life is the way it is. I want to understand why obstacles appear along our path other than the fact that people say that their purpose are to make us stronger. I want to understand why we are given the gift of life and in a blink of an eye that gift could be taken away from us.

I want to understand why homosexuality is perceived as immoral in the bible when the bible claims that we are all god’s children and that we all have the right to pursue our own happiness. Why is it that society never accepts someone or something that is different? How do you know which religion is the right one? All religions claim to be the right one in order to reach salvation.

I want to understand why relationships come to an end other than the fact that people lose interest in one another. Is it even possible to get married and after thirty years of marriage still have that same rush of emotions as the first time you fell in love with your partner?

How are we supposed to live in a compassionate and moral existence when we are exposed to blood and catastrophically submerged by situations in which we are forced to protect our well being? How will we ever universally reach peace when we all find something wrong with one another’s culture, race, and even one’s self.

I’m obsessed with just knowing whether or not the careers we are pursuing right now are the ones that we will end up having in life. Do we have destinies that have been made for us since the first day we took our first breaths of life?

I am obsessed with knowing the big secret life holds, that will never be uncovered. Truth is that no matter how obsessed I am about knowing something, my answer may never come or appear as fast as I would like for it to appear.

For the time being I guess all I can do is wonder because the answer to some of these questions are unexplainable or better yet the reasons are all contradicting laws and ideas established by society. I guess contradictions are the ones sustaining the existence of this society. Truth is that “there are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions in life. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light” ( Barry Lopez).

In My Eyes,,,,,,,,,,,,,

In my eyes…….

At first as I read the statement about women I didn’t really know what to expect. Throughout the story I found myself identifying with Brent Staples because everyday we are surrounded by many opinions, ideas, stereotypes, and people that are unjust. We judge everyone and everything without even thinking about whether we can put ourselves in that person‘s shoes. In the story “ Just Walk On By: Black Men and Public Men Space”, by Brent Staples he undergoes many situations in which he is judged upon the color of his skin. I think that the general problem within our society is that we tend to agree and think similar to many other people, just because we don’t want to do any different. The narrator mentions how one day he finds himself walking in front of a white, well dressed lady and he describes how slowly she begins to walk to in a much faster pace after she takes a glance take to who is walking behind her. I feel like I would have done the same, but it would not have been because of his skin color, appearance, but because of the fact that men are stereotyped to be the most common to rape and hurt women. So society implants fear amongst one another.

The reason why this happens is because in some cases the media shows that men do hurt women just like in the situation as the one Brent was in. Overall this happens because since we look out for our well being we tend to take no chances. We tend to not give the person the opportunity to shine their true colors instead, we immediately stereotype and assume. We mirror each other every single day of our lives. The one thing I admired about the author was the fact that he was strong and that regardless of what he went through he turned the anger he once carried with him into something positive and that would be that he made all the anger disappear. I honestly think that the author did this because he knew that his anger would get him nowhere. He wouldn’t be able to make a change all he would end up doing is hurting himself emotionally. He used the power of words which makes a bigger impact in getting people to listen.

I think that another one of the major issues we have as a society as well is the fact that we don’t take the time to listen. When we don’t listen we tend to be ignorant towards getting to know the points of view of other people. Sometimes we mock other people without even considering that person’s feelings or circumstances. I know that the woman in Brent’s story does stereotype, but truth is that society only exposes us to stereotypes, judgments, and all these negative things about one another. They never instill new ideas within us that will actually make a difference for once. Instead they themselves separate us from one another making us point out our skin color and other features we inherit that make us beautiful. This piece of literature really makes me feel and realize we need to realize that we are all equal and that we need to take things that are negative and make the best out of them just like the author of “ Just Walk on By: Black Men and Public Space. If we do this then maybe things could change for the better..

My Childhood...........

The truth behind my child …….

Everyday that my mom would pick me up from the day care center I would feel this rush of emotions that would make my legs feel weak as I ran into my her arms. I could remember that I wanted to tell my mom something but I wasn’t really sure of what was happening. I didn’t know if whether or not what I was going through was normal or even real. Everyday my mom would ask me how was school and I always talked about everything from the pictures I made to the songs I learned. I wanted to tell my mom something else that I felt but I just didn’t mean to pay too much attention to the matter.

As a child I was confused about whether or not it was okay to know the answer a question you knew the answer to. My teacher always instilled this fear in me that after a while started to overpower my normal activity as a child mentally. I never understood why this teacher didn’t like the fact that I knew the answer to one of her questions. She would constantly put me down. She couldn’t stand the fact that sometimes instead of playing ball out in the playground I enjoyed looking at a book and getting lost in the pictures. I would make up my own stories in which I would mold everything to my liking and my perfect little world.

Years have passed by and that thing that I couldn’t seem to say back then to my mom was that my teacher used to abuse me. Every time I answered a question right she hated it and she would hit me whenever she got the chance and whenever no one was watching her. She implanted this fear within me since she always used to bring me down and also because she used to hit me. She would lock me in a room and hit me and every time I would come out of that room I would have to come out with a smile in my face because that’s all I had that she couldn‘t take away from me. And to be quiet honest that’s exactly how I face life every single day of my life, with a smile upon my face regardless of what times are like for me. Every time this memory comes back to me I get chills because it’s as if the scars I have open up once again. I remember thinking she is hurting me and I remember saying to myself she can hurt me physically, but not hurt the person that I am and will be. It killed her to see me happily enjoying myself even after she would beat me.

There are times when you have the misfortune to come face to face with people that put you down. I face every single day of my life with a smile and my head held up high and I realize that I do it the same way I used to come out of that room where I used to be beat .Through out the years I realized that no one can tell you what you can or can not do, the only person that can tell you that is “ yourself ”. As for that teacher I hold no grudge against her because I am alive and I have turned into a strong, beautiful women that continues to grow and learn every single day of her life regardless of her past.